When a SB Calls

It is safe to say that I did a massive amount of research before diving into these sugary waters.  I Googled the shit out of Google.  I read countless blogs by other sugar babies (and a few sugar daddies).  I read news articles, watched news clips, and even badgered experienced SBs for answers to my burning questions.  I thought that all my homework would render me prepared for the sugar world.  After all, I was knowledgeable on everything from profile writing to how to spot the fakes and flakes.  However, while my research prepared me for all things internet related, it did nothing to ready me for what happens after I reeled the pot SDs in with my cute pictures, witty profile, and charming emails.  

The first mention of a phone call came from a pot SD that we shall call DomSD  (he's a self-professed dominant in regards to sexual deviancy).  For some unknown reason, my little head had never fully wrapped itself around the fact that communication with SDs would naturally progress from email to phone/Skype to ultimately face-to-face.  I mean I knew that this was how it worked, but as I had yet to actually speak on the phone (which is so much more personal and intimate than email) with a pot SD, it was uncharted territory and I was admittedly a bit scared and nervous.  What was I going to say?  Was I supposed to acknowledge the origins of our meeting or remain mum on the whole sugar topic?  What if there was a *gulp* awkward silence?  And the words "Sugar Daddy" and "Sugar Baby" sounded so much better in print than in speech. . . then they just sounded kind of cheesy.  I don't remember reading anything about first phone conversations!!!!  

I decided to call DomSD because a.) if I was serious about finding a SD, I knew I couldn't hide behind the computer forever. . . obviously, and b.) I was overwhelmed with curiosity.  DomSD was a seriously seductive writer.  That's why I initially wrote to him - his profile had completely won me over (plus his picture, although blurred, looked very attractive).  I wanted to hear what his voice sounded like; I wanted to see if he was as seductive over the phone as in writing.  Before I called him, DomSD reassured my frayed nerves with a comforting email and he told me to go ahead and block my number.  In all honesty, I was surprised that he had trusted me with his phone number because he seemed to be very OCD about safety and his identity (and STDs, but that's a story for another time).  

Finally, I called. [I was almost shocked when a man answered the line.  Yes, this may sound extremely silly, but I suppose my little inexperienced brain hadn't fully realized that actual people are involved in the sugar world.  It's easy to get caught up in the whole fantasy of it and forget that ultimately you both are just two people on planet Earth.]  His voice sounded nothing like I imagined, but it was still strangely appealing in its own way.  I was nervous, but conversation started to flow.  Ironically enough, the topic that seemed to be the most natural between us was sex (rough sex, in particular).  Yeah, forget about talking about hobbies, books, and food - let's talk about sex lol!  We talked for an hour and then we mutually parted ways. 

Before I start rambling, I will say that DomSD and I keep in fairly frequent touch through email.  The timing (and my location) right now is not conducive to us meeting so we've agreed to stay in touch and meet at a later time.  I should also note that we're desiring completely different types of arrangements logistically.  To be blunt, he does not have the means that I am seeking, but I've technically already moved him from the "potential SD" category to the "potential lover/fling should we click in person" category.  I guess you could say he got a version of the "hot guy discount," as coined by Goal Digger.  I don't really have any grand sugar plans for him or anything, but I'm willing to see how things unfold in the future.

After my very first phone call, I felt relieved, accomplished, and - for some weird reason - tired.  But I was happy and delighted that this hurdle had been crossed.  I was no longer terrified of transitioning from the internet to the phone, which was quite helpful indeed, and I'm thankful to say that all of my phone conversations since then have been painless and mostly enjoyable.  

My words of wisdom to those embarking on their virgin voyage into the land of phone conversations with SDs:

1.  Relax.  He's probably nervous too.  Take a few deep breaths, smile, and remember to have fun.

2.  Listen and respond.  It's easy to start rambling in order to avoid any awkward pauses, but the conversation will flow so much easier if you intently listen to what he says and use that information to be a delightful conversationalist.  Remember what engages him and makes him laugh and remember what doesn't.    

3.  Laugh.  Everyone likes humor.  Just stay far away from hyena cackles and we're good.  

4.  Keep the conversation light.  No serious or deep topics and don't even think of trying to psychologically probe him.  He doesn't want to talk to a marriage counselor; he wants to talk to a SB.  

5.  Know when it's time to say goodbye.  Most of us have that innate ability to sense when someone needs to get off the phone.  Employ it to your advantage.  

6.  Before you hang up, be polite and say you enjoyed talking to him or something to that extent, even if it was terribly tedious and boring.  The exception to this is if he was a complete asshole and/or bothered you with rude, vulgar, or intrusive comments and questions.  

And one last thing - be careful with your phone number.  Either block your number or use a prepaid phone specifically for the sugar world.  You really never know who is on the other line so it's best to be safe.  

:)