Money & Responsibility

Be responsible with the money you receive. That's all I can really say.

I grew up in an upper middle class family. I've never had a job - not even a pseudo one like babysitting. I've never had to worry about the money for my expenses not being there. I've also never really been given money (with the exception of gifts). It was more so, "I need XYZ" and then my parents would usually give me the money for it. Ever since I entered high school, my father was against paying for things directly... he liked to give me the actual money and then have me pay for it (ex: my cell phone bill... he would put the money in my account and then I would pay for it through my account). Apparently this was his way of teaching me how to use money.

With my SD, this was the first time that I had actually received money that relatively served no purpose. It was just... there, for me to do whatever I wanted with it. It didn't even really feel like "real money" (if this makes any sense) because I didn't feel like I had worked for it.

Naturally, my financial perspective quickly became skewed. I didn't think about prices or money or anything at all. It was a complete nonissue. I was smart enough to save a decent amount, but even now I'm still confused as to where some of the money went... okay, I know - lots and lots of small random things that added up over time.

When I went shopping, I never looked at tags. I would pick up the tab at restaurants and bars without even thinking twice. If someone couldn't do XYZ because they were trying to save money, I'd go ahead and tell him/her it was on me. I had complete and absolute financial freedom because the money I was getting weekly was 100% mine. I did not have to be accountable for it and thus, I did whatever the hell I wanted with it.

Okay, I know I made that sound pretty awesome. It was and even now, since I saved some, I still have a great deal of financial freedom, especially in comparison to many of my peers. However, I was acting like my generous circumstance would never end - as if the money would be a consistent trait of my life. Obviously, since I ended it with my SD, it wasn't.

I learned that it is important to think about the future financially when in an arrangement. He could end it any day and vice versa. Responsibility with money is an invaluable trait.

1. Save, save, SAVE. This is crucial if you want to maintain a certain lifestyle even when you don't have a SD. My grooming habits add up - products, gym membership, spas & salons, etc. I make sure that I always have enough money to cover these extra necessities.

2. Invest in things that will pay off in the future; invest in yourself. Whether it's finding an Italian language tutor or buying a classic black dress and heels for future SD meetings and dates, it's never a bad decision to spend money on something that will make you a more interesting and attractive individual, especially in regards to the sugar world.

3. Don't lease anything. I never did this, but I have heard stories of girls going out and leasing a brand new Porsche because they were getting a nice allowance and then the relationship going south.

4. Keep track of where the money is going. Or else you'll end up like my friend who is slightly confused as to where the 15k her past SD gave her went.

5. Be discreet about the money. I half-assed this tip... while I never mentioned the money to anyone except a very close friend, my spending habits did make some (nosy) people toss a few questions my way. My responses were always vague and ambiguous so they probably just chalked it up to me being a spoiled brat, but still - avoid these situations if you can.

6. Be well-informed about banks and their rules. You DON'T want little red flags going up on your account. I bypassed any suspicions by keeping most of the money in cash (except what I saved), but this also led to me having ridiculous spending habits. For some reason, while my conscious won't let me touch the money in my savings account, it thinks everything in my purse is fair game.

7. Think before buying. I didn't and I wasted a lot of money. Don't do this.

Long time, no post

Hello ladies --

It's been a ridiculously long time since I've posted. It was half-painful, half-enlightening to go back and read over my old posts. Wow, I have learned and grown a lot since those days.

1. I am no longer with Mr. 50s. Yes, he gave me 1.5k every time we met, but I literally had to down alcohol during those precious moments before sexy time. The first time we had sex, I drank 4 dirty martinis at lunch and then 3 glasses of wine in the room. This is during the daytime too. I had to get a bartender to drive my car with me inside of it back to my place because I didn't want to tell any of my friends the story and I was too drunk to lie. DO NOT do this.

2. Just because a SD is great on paper does NOT mean he is the best SD for you. Going back to Mr. 50s - he was a nice man, the type people respect. But there was NO chemistry between us. I can't recall a single conversation we had because all of our conversations were composed of small talk.

3. Much of the interaction with men off SA is a power struggle. Here are a few tips I've learned: The moment you care about having the upper hand is the moment you will completely lose it. If you play games with men, they will play games with you and the cycle will never end. These men aren't stupid; they're successful. They know when you're being fake and when you're being genuine. Don't kid yourself - you're not that good of an actress. They have YEARS of experience on us.

4. 98% of the men on these "sugar sites" are not quality men. However, there are exceptions. I know - I've met and still keep in touch with quite a number of them so there is definitely hope. Just never forget that it's the internet and anyone with access and a few extra dollars can become "Andrew from Los Angeles who has a networth of 50 million and wants to spoil YOU" in ten minutes.

5. If you wouldn't have sex with Mr. XYZ if he wasn't giving you an allowance or filling up your closet with Miu Miu and Louboutins, then that technically makes you an escort. Hate to break it to you, darling. The word "escort" isn't a bad word though. There are many admirable women who are escorts. Seriously - I've met some. If it works for you, then that's fantastic. But you're coming across like a bimbo with her head in the sand if you remain in denial. Having to get smashed before taking off your clothes counts too.... and I am saying this from my little glass house because my arrangement with Mr. 50s was straight from the escort handbook.

6. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable, open, and honest with how you feel. When you get defensive, you automatically make the other person put his defenses up. Be diplomatic, sincere, and direct.

7. Just leave the words "spoil" and "princess" off your profile. Entitlement issues make the good guys click "X" on your profile.

8. Personality matters.

So

I have a SD.

A very, very, very, very generous one... and easy to please.

I really hit the jackpot.

I hope this lasts.

HUGE update!!

Hi lovely ladies!! I'm back with some news.

So this past week, I met with a potential SD for two nights in a row... was supposed to meet for a 3rd, but he left town early for god knows why. Anyways, that was a very interesting and fun two nights. He's in his mid 30's and I'm very attracted to him as a person (we have tons of fun together), but not so much sexually... although I do like kissing him. And I love the way he smells. He wined and dined me and there's a really funny story (let's just say I can't go back to that hotel bar). However, although he said he wanted to "commit" to me in an arrangement and he quite clearly wanted to have sex with me, he didn't take care of his part and instead left town early without even telling me. Ugh. That's all I have to say. Granted, I may have handled the sugar situation on my part a little roughly. I switched into business mode and it may have been too cold. I hope he contacts me again when he's back in town though because we just get along together. He would be a nice... I don't know - friend? Occasional fling? Definitely not a legit sugar daddy since even the sugar he was supposedly offering is not anything incredibly substantial, but well... I suppose he has received the fun guy discount. We'll see.

Okay.... so there's another potential SD. And he's sort of old. Oh, what the hell, he's just straight up old. 53. He looks it too. He's very, very nice and completely enamored with me. After our first lunch, he told me that he definitely wanted to enter an arrangement with me starting as soon as possible and when the valet brought my car up, he gave me a hug and handed me a wad of cash. I counted it... it was $780. For a one hour lunch. He's offering in the neighborhood of 6k a month, plus shopping when we travel (and there's a Vegas trip planned in October with another sugar couple). He's very busy with time so we would meet once a month and I'm pretty sure it would only be for a few hours. This is such an amazing opportunity. He's legit, kind, and very nice. The classic sugar daddy. It's just the sex thing... hmm, nothing a little wine can't take care of I suppose. But does that make me an escort??

I'm talking to some other potentials too. It's so funny because I used to drag out the process, but now I'm all about talking on the phone soon if we like each other's pictures and then if the phone conversation goes well, meeting in person asap. Once in person, everything can be figured out so much more quickly and efficiently.

I think that I want 1 Main SD and then maybe 1 or 2 "fun" daddies. There's this one guy that I'm talking to (waiting to hear back from him) and he is the HOTTEST older man I have ever seen in my life. I want to climb into his pictures and do all sorts of awful, but deliciously naughty things to him.

Oh, did I mention, I was given $780 for a ONE HOUR LUNCH!?! That is so crazy!!! I really think I'm going to say to Old SD because offers like that do not come around every day. Sigh, I need to think and quick too.

Btw, when I get ready for a SD date/meeting, it's almost as if I become a different person. Not only am I a little more sophisticatedly (aka older, but still sexy) dressed, but I act different too. It's as if I go from being "college girl" to "alluring sugar baby." Okay, that's a cheesy way of putting it, but it's how I feel.

I've started to also notice what draws all these men toward me... apparently they love that I'm young, but carry myself as if I'm older. Something about the youth and maturity (well, I don't claim actual maturity, but I know how to act mature, be articulate, and I like to think that I carry myself with poise and class) really turns them on. I have literally been called "a treat" by every single potential SD I've met. It's a weird pattern lol.

Okay, really this time: WTF

There's this one pot that I've been talking to for a while (before I left for both of my trips this summer - not Golden SD) and so far he has seemed completely genuine, interested, and enamored. I really thought he might be the one (SD speaking that is, of course lol). Suddenly, tonight he sends me a text that says he'll have to pass on any arrangement with me because he has a feeling in his gut that this wouldn't end positively between us. That's near exact wording too. What was he even trying to say?? We haven't even met in person (we were supposed to in a couple weeks). This is so random. I'm sane enough to handle being told the reason... not just some vague sentiment. Ugh, and what sucks is that I've told him some personal information. Nothing too in depth (ie: he couldn't stalk me unless he really invested his energy, time, and money into it), but more than I've told any other pot. Now it's just going to feel weird knowing that someone out there knows the town I went to high school in (it's a fairly small town). Lesson #343 learned: Don't tell anything remotely personal until I meet a pot SD in person, and even then... keep a fairly tight lip.

Anyways, now that I'm actually nearing up to the time when I am able to physically meet pot SDs, they all disappear!!!! Talk about irony!

Send me some sugar luck, my ladies. :) I need it!

On two completely unrelated side notes, I'm thinking of creating a blog where I just post my favorite pictures I come across (I know, original lol) and I've just recently started eating "paleo" and WOW... I have never had so much energy. I feel like the energizer bunny during my daily jogging now!

New Profile

So I've deleted my old one (hope those last messages I sent are still able to be read!) and created a new one on SA.com. This will be my 3rd profile. It seems like 1 month is the life expectancy of a hot profile... in fact, after 3 weeks, everything starts to die out. I suppose it just gets lost among the mix of other profiles screaming "ME!! PICK ME!!"

Every time I've created a new profile (err.. all two times haha), I've taken a slightly different approach. The content is more or less the same, but the style and wording are both switched up. I also use different pictures. Here's the thing that creeps me out though... this one guy in NYC has messaged all three of my profiles - even the brand spankin new one that just got approved at 3 this morning!! Okay, maybe he's just genuinely interested in who he thinks is behind the profile, you may be thinking.... No, I'm pretty sure he knows it's me. In fact, I even spelled it out for him with my 2nd profile (aka "We've talked before and discovered that we weren't a good match). The fact that he addressed me in this recent message by the name I told him when I originally talked to him with my 1st profile gives it all away. Sigh... the creepiest part is that we have the exact same last name. Anyways... moving on.

Do you SBs feel like it's a smart move to create a fresh profile every now and then? I do so mainly because since I'm not a premium member, my profile gets pushed far back after a while.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

I've read about it on other SBs blogs... apparently the second you blog about how great your prospectives are in the sugar world, everything comes to a freaking dead halt!!! I've never had a potential SD never email me back... but it has happened... not once, but twice. Sigh. And they seemed to be good potentials as well. I'm still in contact with the one that I really want to meet, but after this post he'll probably saddle up a unicorn and fly away into Lollipop Sunshine World tomorrow morning. I thought this curse was just a myth! :( Or maybe it's just the natural ebb and flow of things... or maybe it means this is time to create a fresh profile?

Back from being MIA!

Hello everyone!

So I know I've been gone for quite a while now, but I've been very busy with traveling!

I visited family in a certain country for 2 weeks, came back home for 4 days, and then left again for western Europe for 18 days. What can I say about Europe except that it is AMAZING!!!! The group I was with were all incredible, fun, and vibrant people. I became very close to some of them... think lifelong friends. Europe in itself completely changed the way I view life, myself, and my future. It is so different from the U.S. not to mention absolutely gorgeous. We all saw lots of places and things, met quite a number of people (hello cute, stylish, and charming European boys AND men... seriously, what do they feed them over there?), and partied in high style. Clubbing is a completely different animal over there compared to what I've heard about it in the states (minus the big cities like Miami, NYC, and LA). It was so much fun to get ready with the girls, put on the hot outfits and heels, and go out to these fabulous clubs where we'd get tables and bottle service and dance the night away. The average time we came back to the hotels was around 4-5 am. I'm sure this is all normal for some of you ladies, but as a freshly-turned 18 year old, this was a fan-fucking-tastic experience! Screw frat parties... the bar has been set high for me lol. But in short, yes, I am planning on living in Europe one day or at the very least visiting it 390436 times a year. And I also plan on marrying either a European or Latin guy. Lol there's a story behind that but it's rather personal so that's all I'm saying.

Moving onto the topic of sugar... I'm talking to quite a few new potential SDs right now. My mailbox has been consistently getting messages from quality potentials. There are a few in particular that have me really interested so I'm crossing my fingers that things will work out with one of them.

As for all the pots I've mentioned, I'm still in vague contact with a few of them but I don't think anything will pan out. I've quickly learned that the type of guy I thought I was attracted to is far from it... those super intellectual, cerebral types simply annoy me if there's nothing else (like charm, charisma, fun energy, sense of humor, etc.) added to the mix. I mean, really... if I wanted to hear someone go on and on about the intricacies of literature, I'd call up my English teacher.

I hope to start blogging regularly again now!

Update

I had planned on letting my thoughts about Golden SD simmer for a while, but he just had to send me a confessional text and that tipped me over the edge.

See here's the thing:  He made me cringe inside.  I hate that I feel that way since he seemed like a genuinely great guy - the kind that you ask to check on your pets when you go out of town.  Yet, every time he texted me or I even thought about him, I would get this horrible yucky feeling inside of me, like my skin was crawling inside out (does that make any sense?).  So when he sent me the confessional text (I like you, etc.) today, I had to tell him the truth.  I don't think it's going to work out between us.  Meeting him wouldn't change anything.  I knew that it would only get worse.  The creepy-crawlies would magnify.  So that's that.  Maybe I made a terrible decision and will soon regret it, but it just felt like the right thing to do.  I feel so much more at peace now.  

There's a new pot SD. . . let's call him Young SD since he's the youngest one I've talked to so far.  Granted, the word "young" is relative in the sugar world lol.

I'm going to be MIA for a couple weeks from both the blogs & the sugar world so I'm excited to see what happens in my time away!

xo,

MM  

Bragging

The other day, I called DC SD at the prearranged time and he didn't answer so I left a brief message saying that I'd be free to talk for the next 10 minutes, but after that I was going to be out with friends.  He didn't call.  No biggie.  

I get an email from him later apologizing and explaining why he didn't answer. . . he was getting a new car.  Okay, cool.  But here's the part I found amusing:  He told me the make & model of his old car and not only did he tell me the m&m of his new one, but he also attached a picture he took.  Subtle, eh?  

I have to be honest though.  While a SD bragging or drawing attention to his lifestyle can be incredibly annoying and makes me want to roll my eyes ad nauseam, I prefer it over the SD that doesn't reveal a single detail about his lifestyle.  When I decided to enter this world, it was because I wanted to dip my toes (hell, my whole body) in the pool of luxury.  I wanted to experience things that I wouldn't be able to on my own.  A SD mentioning these type of things provides me an idea of where he stands on the spectrum of the finer things in life.  It may be shallow, but I want a SD that is fully entrenched in those finer things rather than a super frugal, thrifty SD (even if the latter gave a hefty allowance).  To me, that air of sumptuousness is part of the appeal of a SD and the sugar world.  It adds to the whole experience.  I completely understand that some SBs like the casual SDs, but not this one.  

That said, the fact that DC SD drives a hot car (versus a truck for example) does kick him up a notch in my sugary book, although granted he was already pretty high up there to begin with.  Damn my weakness for sexy cars.    

Physical Attraction

Calling all SBs:  How important is physical attraction to you when it comes to a SD?  Was it there in the beginning or was it gradual?  Would you be willing to have a SD that was perfect in every single way (and generous too), but you weren't physically attracted to him?

Golden SD

Okay, so tonight I Skyped with Golden SD.  So far, we've been having great phone calls and I was really into him.  

But. . . I'm having second thoughts now.  Actually, I'm having an incessant case of "creepy-crawlies" and a mild panic attack, but the main thought coursing through my brain is:  "I don't think I can sleep with him. . . ever."  

Sigh.  All of his other qualities are perfect, but I don't think the physical attraction is there.  He just looked so much older than I was originally expecting on webcam.  Or maybe I'm just too young to be diving into all of this.  

akjsfhskljdhlkdjfhskldjfhskdjfhskdfhsd.

Maybe physical attraction isn't as big of a deal in the sugar world? But then, doesn't that technically make me an escort?  Argh!!!  

On the plus side, I know I AM physically attracted to some of my other Pot SDs so if I have to say no to this one, not all is lost.

I just... wow, I don't know what to say.  I'm chalking this up to another lesson in my sugar experience.

Pot SDs

Golden SD - He's in his (I'm pretty sure late) 40s, Ivy League educated, started and owns his own business in the finance/real estate world, and - according to him - is an avid soccer player (he played in college) and runner.  He's married and has young kids.  So far, he is the top runner.  We've talked on the phone quite a few times and all of our conversations were enjoyable.  I really like his voice lol.  He is a complete gentleman and is more than courteous on the sexual front aka he's not breathing down my neck with poorly-done innuendoes.  On the binary scale of attraction (0 = hell no, 1 = ok), he gets a 1, at least now he does.  I've seen pictures and we've Skyped, but I can't meet in person until July since I'm going to be traveling.  I'm crossing my fingers that we have a connection in person, especially as he is more than agreeable about an allowance and I'm sensing signs he may be up for spoiling as well (he asked me my favorite brand of heels and suggested Jimmy Choo - good boy lol).  

DomSD - Eh, I don't really consider him a SD potential anymore, but let's go ahead and put him on the list as a formality.  In all honesty, if we clicked in person (and I am planning on meeting him later to find out), I'd probably just... err, date him the old-fashioned way.  And by date, I mean fuck because I'm 97% sure he's an incredible lay.  Oh how I love rough sex done right.    

GW SD - Ha, that's a little joke since he put George Washington as his name before telling me his identity.  He's also in his 40s, quite handsome, owns his own financial business, and has done this before.  He's married and his personality is open and considerate.  He offered to fly me to DC to see if we click and I'm going to take him up on it once I'm back from abroad.  He's a strong potential.

ATL SD - The only problem with this Pot is that he doesn't want to begin any form of arrangement until I pretty much put out.  I asked him if he understood that I wanted to become comfortable before becoming intimate with my SD and he said that in the same light, he wouldn't do anything past typical date stuff until we started sleeping together, which means zero allowance, spoiling, anything.  I'm iffy on this because it sounds like tit-for-tat to me.  I don't expect him to start doling out the dough and buying me a pony, the moon, and a small island, but his attitude toward a SD/SB arrangement strikes the wrong chord within me.  We'll have to see about this one.  

Midwest SD - There are two things I must mention about this Pot.  #1:  When I asked him what his secret talent was (getting to know each other email), this was his response.  "My secret talent is hmm.... Staying hard after I cum and can keep going lol..."  How do you respond to that?  I mean, while it definitely isn't a bad thing, it's a bit TMI for a first email.  #2:  He uses his work email for his SA account and for communicating to SBs.  This just rubs me the wrong way because it makes me question whether or not he can handle the whole discretion and privacy thing.  Not to mention, the address of his business and a collection of phone numbers are in his signature... uhm, I could be a psycho stalker chick who wants to blackmail you, Mr. Midwest SD.  On the bright side, we both share a love for mint chocolate chip ice cream.  Yay, silver lining.  I guess we could have marathon sex (since apparently he's like a never-ending version of the Little Engine That Could) and then eat ice cream.  From his pictures, he does have an attractive body.  We'll see, darlings.  

The List

What do I want in a SD and from an arrangement?  I thought it would be a good exercise to write my mental list down and share it with you lovely ladies (and gentlemen).  It definitely helps one get a clearer and firmer stance on the sugar world when you know exactly what you desire.     

1.  I'm not looking to be an escort or a future wifey.  This means no meet-and-fucks and no men who want to groom me for marriage or babies.  Let's find a happy medium - the perfect friends with benefits situation.  

2.  An SD who can teach me stuff.  All kinds of stuff.  Anything and everything (although useful stuff is preferable).  Teach me about wine, how to sail, the stock market, the best way to cook XYZ, business, law, politics, history - just something.  I want to be mentored; I want to grow.  My SD should want to enhance my brain and future along with my bank account and shoe collection.

3.  An allowance.  Freedom from financial woes and the freedom to pursue my dreams and ambitions.  

4.  Great sex, for both of us.  This means chemistry and a connection is very, very important.  

5.  A certain level of discretion.  I don't expect to lurk through alleyways with my SD and stand three feet apart at all times, but let's not scream logistics from the mountains either.  Nobody needs to know that he gives me an allowance or our titles of SD and SB.  In addition, privacy - I respect my own and his and wouldn't be comfortable if he didn't feel the same way.  

6.  A little shopping... a little spoiling... I can't help but get a little (okay, a lot) turned on by a man who is enthusiastic about indulging me.  It makes me want to return the favor and more.

7.    And now more specifically about the SD (I'm just going to ramble on about what my perfect SD would be like - naturally, I'm not using this as a literal checklist... although the gentleman part is nonnegotiable) - I want a complete gentleman.  Someone who is considerate and kind, not just to me or other pretty girls, but to everyone in general.  Witty, with a dry sense of humor and a way with words (nothing is more attractive).  Dominant, aggressive, and almost too confident (especially in the bedroom).  Generous, of course.  And intelligent, but without the need to remind people that he is so.  Physically wise, think handsome in a Bond way (aka looks great in a suit and can kick ass at the same time).

Ah, if I ever do meet a SD just like that in #7, I will be in trouble because my little heart will start fluttering, butterflies will stage a coup d'etat on my brain, and I will melt into a puddle of lustful bliss.  Reason will cease to exist within me and you'll probably end up reading some very angst-ridden blog posts should the fling crash.  Let's just stick with gentlemanly, articulate, and generous for now.  ;)  

In the real world... I'm staring down a list of last minute college stuff that needs to be taken care of before I board a plane next week.  Immunization. . . checking up on my residency status. . . harassing someone at the college until they let me register for classes early so I don't get stuck with the crappy ones (I'm going to be abroad during regular orientation).  Not to mention, I have to take my math placement test online tomorrow!!  Thank god for to-do lists.  

On a lighter note, I bought two fantastic summer dresses from Banana Republic the other day.  They didn't look so hot on the hanger, but I tried them on anyways and WOW - not buying them was not an option!

Have a great week all!

xo sugar kisses,

MM

 

The Elephant in the Room

Sex.  

So far, I have witnessed SDs approach the subject of sex in three different manners.  

1.  The "Dirrty" SD - Not only does he address the elephant in the room, but he dresses it up in leather chaps, pulls out a leather whip, and proceeds to make animated sexual gestures while sending a sly wink your way.  Some of these men are a bit more tame than others, but the blatant sex talk is a constant.  How to know if you have one of these on your hands?  He includes any of the following in his first message to you:  "I like oral, anal, and vaginal sex."  (Oh, but not the ear?  Darn.)  "I want you to be my nasty little slut."  (What?  Can't we exchange names first?)   "I will make you cum."  (But the question is, will I do the same for you?  Note:  Using the word "cum" for a double entendre or a pun is only funny if it's done right. . . and it so rarely ever is.)   

2.  Mr. Gentleman - He addresses the elephant with caution, but he acknowledges its existence and may subtlety hint at a less reserved side that is waiting in the side wings.  He tends to not explicitly refer to sexual acts or even the word "sex" itself.  The word "intimacy" is used instead.  He is not going to ask you your favorite position in the first message... or the third.  While sex is on his mind, he's not going to give you the full X-rated treatment until you are comfortable and willing to venture into naughty territory.  Do I even need to say that this type is my favorite?  

3.  The "What Elephant?" SD - The elephant could be bright purple with green stripes and simultaneously playing the French horn and drums while doing back flips and he would still look around innocently and ask, "What elephant?"  The main issue with these men is that the communication is awful and vague.  This produces a breeding ground for confusion and misunderstanding.  While it is generally assumed that a SD wants to be intimate with his SB, it still never hurts to let the SB know exactly what's on the table so there are no Jack-in-the-box-esque surprises waiting in the future.  

When a SB Calls

It is safe to say that I did a massive amount of research before diving into these sugary waters.  I Googled the shit out of Google.  I read countless blogs by other sugar babies (and a few sugar daddies).  I read news articles, watched news clips, and even badgered experienced SBs for answers to my burning questions.  I thought that all my homework would render me prepared for the sugar world.  After all, I was knowledgeable on everything from profile writing to how to spot the fakes and flakes.  However, while my research prepared me for all things internet related, it did nothing to ready me for what happens after I reeled the pot SDs in with my cute pictures, witty profile, and charming emails.  

The first mention of a phone call came from a pot SD that we shall call DomSD  (he's a self-professed dominant in regards to sexual deviancy).  For some unknown reason, my little head had never fully wrapped itself around the fact that communication with SDs would naturally progress from email to phone/Skype to ultimately face-to-face.  I mean I knew that this was how it worked, but as I had yet to actually speak on the phone (which is so much more personal and intimate than email) with a pot SD, it was uncharted territory and I was admittedly a bit scared and nervous.  What was I going to say?  Was I supposed to acknowledge the origins of our meeting or remain mum on the whole sugar topic?  What if there was a *gulp* awkward silence?  And the words "Sugar Daddy" and "Sugar Baby" sounded so much better in print than in speech. . . then they just sounded kind of cheesy.  I don't remember reading anything about first phone conversations!!!!  

I decided to call DomSD because a.) if I was serious about finding a SD, I knew I couldn't hide behind the computer forever. . . obviously, and b.) I was overwhelmed with curiosity.  DomSD was a seriously seductive writer.  That's why I initially wrote to him - his profile had completely won me over (plus his picture, although blurred, looked very attractive).  I wanted to hear what his voice sounded like; I wanted to see if he was as seductive over the phone as in writing.  Before I called him, DomSD reassured my frayed nerves with a comforting email and he told me to go ahead and block my number.  In all honesty, I was surprised that he had trusted me with his phone number because he seemed to be very OCD about safety and his identity (and STDs, but that's a story for another time).  

Finally, I called. [I was almost shocked when a man answered the line.  Yes, this may sound extremely silly, but I suppose my little inexperienced brain hadn't fully realized that actual people are involved in the sugar world.  It's easy to get caught up in the whole fantasy of it and forget that ultimately you both are just two people on planet Earth.]  His voice sounded nothing like I imagined, but it was still strangely appealing in its own way.  I was nervous, but conversation started to flow.  Ironically enough, the topic that seemed to be the most natural between us was sex (rough sex, in particular).  Yeah, forget about talking about hobbies, books, and food - let's talk about sex lol!  We talked for an hour and then we mutually parted ways. 

Before I start rambling, I will say that DomSD and I keep in fairly frequent touch through email.  The timing (and my location) right now is not conducive to us meeting so we've agreed to stay in touch and meet at a later time.  I should also note that we're desiring completely different types of arrangements logistically.  To be blunt, he does not have the means that I am seeking, but I've technically already moved him from the "potential SD" category to the "potential lover/fling should we click in person" category.  I guess you could say he got a version of the "hot guy discount," as coined by Goal Digger.  I don't really have any grand sugar plans for him or anything, but I'm willing to see how things unfold in the future.

After my very first phone call, I felt relieved, accomplished, and - for some weird reason - tired.  But I was happy and delighted that this hurdle had been crossed.  I was no longer terrified of transitioning from the internet to the phone, which was quite helpful indeed, and I'm thankful to say that all of my phone conversations since then have been painless and mostly enjoyable.  

My words of wisdom to those embarking on their virgin voyage into the land of phone conversations with SDs:

1.  Relax.  He's probably nervous too.  Take a few deep breaths, smile, and remember to have fun.

2.  Listen and respond.  It's easy to start rambling in order to avoid any awkward pauses, but the conversation will flow so much easier if you intently listen to what he says and use that information to be a delightful conversationalist.  Remember what engages him and makes him laugh and remember what doesn't.    

3.  Laugh.  Everyone likes humor.  Just stay far away from hyena cackles and we're good.  

4.  Keep the conversation light.  No serious or deep topics and don't even think of trying to psychologically probe him.  He doesn't want to talk to a marriage counselor; he wants to talk to a SB.  

5.  Know when it's time to say goodbye.  Most of us have that innate ability to sense when someone needs to get off the phone.  Employ it to your advantage.  

6.  Before you hang up, be polite and say you enjoyed talking to him or something to that extent, even if it was terribly tedious and boring.  The exception to this is if he was a complete asshole and/or bothered you with rude, vulgar, or intrusive comments and questions.  

And one last thing - be careful with your phone number.  Either block your number or use a prepaid phone specifically for the sugar world.  You really never know who is on the other line so it's best to be safe.  

:) 

The Adventure Begins

I've known about the sugar world since I was 17 - a little over a year ago.  I don't quite remember how or where I stumbled upon it (I'm sure it somehow involves Google), but I do remember the NY Times article that solidified my future plans:  I will one day be a sugar baby.

Here I am now, 18 and freshly graduated from high school.  My summer is full of whirlwind, back-to-back travel plans abroad and in the fall begins the next chapter of my education - college.  Somewhere in between, I hope to squeeze in a bit of sugar and find the right SD for me.  Here is where I will post my confessions, thoughts, and stories.  A girl has to have a place to anonymously store her little secrets after all.